Today, someone asked me about my love story. It has been a long time since I’ve told that story. Probably for the first time, I actually told it in under five minutes. That is a good and bad thing, I suppose. On one hand, no one really wants the long version, but on the other hand, it bothers me because I could barely recall it.
I’m not really okay with keeping that the status quo. I want to remember my love story with my husband because God taught me so much in and through that time. It was such a wonderful thing to me to think about how I could see God working, especially in the beginning. In that season, I was praising and glorifying God for how He was working.
But like all seasons, sin interrupts and corrupts. Any relationship is bound to have to face sin at one point or another. I think one of the reasons that I’ve forgotten some of my story is because I began to only see the way I failed in that season. I stopped looking at what God was doing and stopped waiting and hoping for what He was going to do next. Instead, I looked at myself and my failures and I lost some hope. I definitely lost my surety that God was creating something good by putting us together. I lost sight of the fact that God redeems failures and uses them for His glory and gives grace in the midst.
This evening, as I’ve been trying to recall details, I remembered one of the moments where it was confirmed to me that Luke and I were supposed to be together. I was listening to the radio, and Dana Gresh was on, I think. I don’t remember what she was talking about, but I actually don’t think it was focused on purity. I don’t know, maybe it was. She said something, though. She said that you know what you are supposed to do when you know what God has given you grace for. I immediately thought of my love for Luke. I knew that I was given grace in order to love Luke.
I think that moment is still significant and maybe even more significant than it was then. Marriages all go through seasons, times where the relationship is so easy and times when it isn’t so easy and times in-between. Parenting little ones is not really one of those easy seasons. Those tough seasons are when we desperately need grace.
I need grace to love Luke the way he needs to be loved. I need grace to love him the way that God wants me to love him. I didn’t just have grace back then at the beginning of our love story. I have grace now, limitless, matchless grace upon which to draw.
Tonight, recalling our love story and writing this out, I feel like grace is being poured out on my soul in a torrential downpour. There is nothing like feeling grace soak your heart and soul.
Thank You, God, My Father for writing my love story. Thank you for not putting down the pen.